Few gifts are as intimate and romantic as lingerie. The right piece can make the recipient feel cherished, confident, and beautiful. But picking out lingerie – whether it’s for a partner, a friend, or even yourself – can be a bit daunting. What style will she love? How do you figure out the size without ruining the surprise? And how do you ensure it sends the right message? In this guide, we’ll walk you through choosing the perfect lingerie gift in a thoughtful, empowering way. (Spoiler: there’s no rule that lingerie gifts are only from someone else – you can absolutely gift yourself that dream set too!)

If You’re Gifting Someone Special

Do your homework on size: Before you even think about styles and colors, make sure you have a good handle on her size. Sneak a peek at her favorite bra and panty sizes from her drawer (note the band and cup size for bras, and a size like S, M, or a number for panties). Fit is crucial – gifting an ill-fitting piece can make her uncomfortable. If you’re unsure or see varying sizes, err on the side of a little bigger for comfort (especially with bras). Also consider the brands she wears; sizing can differ between brands, but if you see she mostly wears one brand at size 34B, that’s a good clue.

Consider her style (and the message): Think about her personality and what she likes. Is she into classic elegance – perhaps she favors black lace or subtle designs? Or does she love bold colors and playful details? The lingerie you choose should reflect her taste more than yours. A tip: recall what you’ve seen her wear or what she feels good in. If she’s mentioned disliking push-up bras, for example, skip those even if you find them sexy. The goal is for her to open the box and say, “Wow, this is so me!” Also, be mindful of the message: a delicate satin chemise or a luxurious lace set says “I adore you and want you to feel amazing,” whereas something extremely risqué might send the wrong signal if it’s not her style.

Pick the piece: Some fail-safe romantic gifts include a matching lace bra and panty set (glamorous and intimate), a silk camisole or slip (elegant and less size-specific), or a luxurious robe. A lace bodysuit can also be a stunning gift if she’s fashion-forward or loves lingerie-as-outerwear. If you’re very unsure about style or fit, a beautifully packaged Donna Speziatta gift card accompanied by a rose or a note can be a respectful choice, letting her choose something she truly loves.

Presentation matters: How you give the lingerie can enhance the experience. Have it wrapped in a pretty box or gift bag with tissue. You might include a handwritten note expressing why you thought this piece was perfect for her (“...because the color reminds me of your elegance,” or “…because you deserve to feel as beautiful as I see you”). These personal touches make the gift far more meaningful. And of course, choose the right moment – maybe a quiet evening together or a special occasion – to present your gift, so she doesn’t feel on the spot.

If You’re Gifting Yourself

Celebrate yourself: Buying lingerie for yourself is an act of self-love and empowerment. You get to choose exactly what makes you feel fabulous. Is there a style you’ve always wanted to try – like a red lace set or a silky babydoll – but never bought? Go for it! Picking out lingerie for yourself can be incredibly fun and confidence-boosting.

Get the right fit: Since this is a gift from you to you, take the opportunity to get something that fits like a dream. Refer to our fit guide (remember those measuring tips from earlier) and ensure you select the right size. If you’re between sizes, it might be worth ordering two sizes and returning one, or visiting a boutique for a try-on, so you end up with the perfect fit.

Choose with your heart: Maybe you want something romantic and lacy to remind yourself of your softer side, or maybe a bold strappy set to celebrate your fierce energy. Maybe it’s the luxurious piece you’ve been eyeing for months. Whatever you choose, let it be something that when you wear it, even under your everyday clothes, you feel a surge of confidence and joy. Lingerie is deeply personal – it should make you happy first and foremost.

Make it an occasion: Don’t just toss your self-gift in the closet. When it arrives or when you bring it home, unwrap it gently, try it on in a setting where you feel relaxed, maybe even pair it with your favorite fragrance or music. You’re creating a memory and associating that lingerie with positive feelings. Some women even plan a special “lingerie night” for themselves – a long bath, then slipping into that beautiful piece and a cozy robe, and enjoying a good book or a glass of wine. Why not? You deserve to revel in the gift, not just the giving.

Whether it’s a romantic gesture for someone dear or a powerful treat for yourself, gifting lingerie is all about making the recipient feel valued and confident. It pays to be thoughtful about size and style, but ultimately, it’s the love and intention behind the gift that shines through. Ready to find that perfect piece? Browse our Gift Guide collection for ideas that suit every style, or opt for a Donna Speziatta gift card if you’d prefer to let her choose. Remember, lingerie is more than a gift – it’s an experience. Make it a beautiful one!